Let's Talk Guest List!

Wow!  It's really going to happen!  You've set your date and the adrenaline is pumping!  You can't wait to tell everyone so they can start planning to be there.

Whoa...wait a minute...are you sure this is a good plan?  Have you looked at your budget?  Have you booked your locations and considered how many people your favorite venue can accommodate comfortably?  Last but not least, have you calculated your "per-person" costs such as catering, seating, place settings, etc?  

Friends of your parents that you haven't seen in years, cousins in another state that you were never really close to in the first place, and co-workers you feel you should invite (just to avoid being rude) shouldn't take up prime real-estate at the biggest event of your lives.  Every guest multiplies your cost and divides your time and attention.  So let's work through this process together.  

First, consider how many people you want to be there overall.  We should start with immediate family & closest friends, then move out to other family & friends that are important in your lives.  (Don't forget to count single adults as 2 to allow for a guest/date.)   You can safely continue moving out until you reach approximately 120% of your desired guest count because not everyone will be able to attend.  

This process may sound calloused, but as you move farther into your planning, you'll be very glad you controlled your guest list instead of letting it control you.  It's not about being "cheap".  It's about directing your funds to what matters most to you and makes the day special for those who truly share in your lives.  

Don't feel bad about those who are left out.  We all have people we like & want to be nice to, but sharing in your life-long bond as a couple is for your inner-most circle.  Besides, you are likely letting some of those "would-be guests" off the hook.  How many of us have attended weddings out of obligation just because we were invited?  Then spend the entire time contemplating other ways we could've spent our weekend??

Have fun with your planning!  Getting past the guest list is a serious milestone.  Once you have this piece behind you, you'll be surprised how easily some of the next steps can fall into place.

Does Do-it-yourself Really Mean "Yourself"?

We all have an inner voice that says "That doesn't look so hard.  I can do it myself.".   But do we really have the time to do everything on our own?  Or do we even want to?  How exhausting!

My experience is that most couples really can handle some of the details on their own to reduce spending in some areas.  On the other hand, I've seen many couples take on too much and re-spend their savings right back into a different area because they overpaid for services or products that they didn't have the experience to know the "going price" for or have the bulk buying power to get the best deals.  That's the pitfall We strive to protect our clients from.

When the budget doesn't allow for full planning services to be handled by a professional, consider a consultation with a planner who can help you decide who can manage some portions of your celebration while some are the sole ownership of the couple, and others are well worth paying a professional.  Which details fall into which category varies greatly from couple to couple.

There are many things that can be delegated to trusted friends and family but that depends a great deal on the skills and dependability of your helpers, the overall style of your event, and the venue's rules and guidelines.  For instance, many venues don't allow food to be brought in by anyone other than a licensed caterer.  Others limit the access time to the space which greatly limits the ability for a decorating crew to make magic happen.  For this reason, consulting a planner early will go a long way toward helping you select a venue that allows you the freedom to tackle some of the work and include your own personal touches without adding to the hassle.

Finally, no time should be more exciting than the time leading up to your wedding day.  Make sure you recruit enough help that it doesn't turn into an all-consuming and overwhelming job that you can't wait to be finished with.   You can't replace this time and you won't forget the frustration that comes along with being in over your head.  Let us help you make it a fun and memorable experience that you can look back on with a smile, knowing you included your own touches with your own hands and enjoyed every minute of it.

Best wishes as you plan!

Terri Yeary
Agapeweddingsandevents.com
(317) 348-7642
Terri@agapeweddingsandevents.com

Add Gift Certificates To Your Holiday Wish List!

Struggling with budget while trying to plan the biggest day of your life?  Add gift certificates to your   holiday wish list and enjoy some guilt-free spending!

No bride-to-be wants to unwrap another candle or figurine because it's neutral and friends aren't sure what to buy.  Help them know exactly what you want by asking for gift certificates to help add some "extras" to your perfect celebration.  They don't need to spend huge amounts to make it worth your while either.  

Consider this, 20 brilliant gift-givers each buy you a $20 gift certificate and you now have $400 to spend any way you wish.  That may be the chair covers you scrapped to afford the better cake.  Or maybe an opportunity to add our "Day-of" coordination package to keep your celebration on-track and hassle-free.  Whatever the detail that makes your day even more perfect for you, it's at your fingertips and the only thing you've sacrificed is another sweater that wasn't quite your style anyway.  

Share our info with all your friends and family today...before they fight the Black Friday crowds to get you that perfect cheese ball tray. 

They can call us at (317) 348-7642 or email at terri@agapeweddingsandevents.com 

Paper or Plastic?? No Way!!

You might be surprised to know how many special events I've been to over the years where paper plates and plastic-ware were used in an effort to keep the budget manageable.  (Our own wedding included.  Wish I'd known better back then.)   We also see them used in outdoor events because it's just unthinkable to deal with the dirty dishes out there.

What if I told you that you can rent real, elegant glass dishware for not much more than it costs to use paper & plastic?  We deliver, pick up, AND do the dishes?  It's not as out of reach for your budget as you might think.  Call us for a free quote at (317) 348-7642 or email at terri@agapeweddingsandevents.com

Setting the Mood:

When you start thinking about how you want your wedding to look, try thinking more about how it will "feel".  

The decor and style you use in your planning will set the overall "mood" for your entire celebration.  This holds true for every wedding style from the fairy tale princess, to the rustic barn dance, to...yes...even the Halloween themed wedding.  (Can't wait to see some of these unfold this year.)

For instance, if your guests enter into a room with disco lights and bright colors, there will immediately become an expectation of a dance party and it's in our nature to mentally prepare for that party.  This is terrific news!  ...unless you were hoping for a sense of formal elegance and to be treated like a princess today. 

Likewise, we can't create a setting worthy of the Queen's Tea and be surprised that the dance floor isn't "pumping".  

There really is no "wrong style" as long as it's done tastefully and consistently.  A professional planner/coordinator can help ensure you set the mood you're looking for.  

Remember, it's all about you as a couple and how you want to remember your special day.  Best Wishes and Happy Planning!

Can I Afford a Wedding Coordinator?

Think you can't afford to hire a coordinator for your wedding?  Are you sure you can afford not to?

Hiring a professional wedding coordinator can (and usually does) make or break your big day.  No matter how clear you are about your plans, there will always be questions, and sometimes utter confusion that comes up when things start to actually unfold.

Who should stop focusing on this magical moment in your lives to tell the caterer they didn't set the correct number of seats at table 5?  Or to remind the bridesmaids that they're in the wrong line-up order...again?  Who should run over to take care of things if you run out of cake plates?  I've seen too many couples make the mistake of thinking "Mom will take care of it" or "my sisters can help out".  The reality is that your family is (and absolutely should be) focused on the two of you, not the details.  They won't notice these things before they become a problem because they're going to be too busy being in the moment, YOUR moment.  That's where a professional comes in.  We take care of the details and keep everyone on track.

Our "Day of" Coordination Package includes:
- initial consultation
- unlimited phone and email access
- professional itinerary preparation
- complete coordination for rehearsal and "day of" events

Ask about our October 2013 Special: 
20% discount on "Day of" Coordination Packages!

To book your date, call us today at
Agape Weddings and Events   (317) 348-7642

or check out or website at agapeweddingsandevents.com

Children Invited?

Ten years ago, it was unheard of for a wedding invitation to exclude children.  And many don't find it any more appropriate today.  We've heard it called rude, selfish and inconsiderate.  However, even with the negative feedback, we're occasionally seeing couples who don't want children at their otherwise perfectly formal event, and we're hearing a wide array of reasons for this.  

Of course, the most obvious reason is the disruption that can come along with children who become tired and cranky after a long day of ceremony and reception.  A couple who have spent several months planning their perfect ceremony, and paid good money for a videographer to capture every special moment, may be worried they'll end up with a permanent reminder that their awe-inspiring vows were drowned out by a crying baby.  

But not every child-free request is about preserving the perfectness of the day.  We also hear couples who have opted to serve alcohol and genuinely don't want to expose children to the expectation of intoxicated adults.  They speak of it as equal to inviting children to a tavern for an adult party.  

Some others have childhood memories of "Aunt Sarah's wedding" where they were bored to tears and expected to behave eloquently while all they really wanted to do was go outside and play.  Why would they want to do his to another generation of children?

Whatever the reason, for some couples it's important enough to say no.  Meanwhile, other couples couldn't imagine not having their younger siblings or cousins share in their most special moments.  Either way, if children are going to attend your formal event, some simple planning ideas may help alleviate frustrations for the adults and children alike. 

-Children's table?  This can be debatable because some children do better being closely monitored next to mom & dad.  Most though, are happier and on better behavior when they can mingle with one another at their leisure.  You know the children in your family best.  Talk with your planner about options for including a children's table. 

-Provide plastic drinking cups with lids for younger children.  These can be fun, color coordinated and even personalized with names & dates.  Whatever you add, they will protect from spills and double as an excellent party favor.  (Let's face it, the kiddos have no interest in wine corks or soap petals as favors anyway.)

-Personalized, wedding coloring books are a growing trend.  Again, another great favor they can take home but coupled with a few crayons in a jar, they can be a life saver during the celebration.  

-Think puzzle games.  You remember those little hand held puzzle games we had as children before electronics were all the buzz.  Get the little ball through the maze, or slide the pieces to complete the picture.  A few scattered in the children's area can spark some renewed interest in a whole new generation.

Any or all of these ideas can make the day more enjoyable for your little guests while taking some pressure off the adults to entertain and monitor every move.  Of course, there are countless other treats and tactics that keep the boredom and accidents to a minimum.  Talk with your planner.  You'll be amazed at some ideas we've used that work wonders!